Triangle
by Evil-Ekat
Summary: In which Mabel tries to prove that Bill is an isosceles monster, and not equallateral. "Catch that triangle! " "Ack! Leave me alone, you're crazier than I am!" Possibly by chasing him with a yard stick screaming about finding the area of a triangle.


**Ahhhh humor. This is just a make up story to reedem myself for the sad writing I recently posted, so some comlete and utter nonsense should probably help. **

**I have no idea how to spell iscocelseseleseselsesele. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

"Dipper you never even pay attention in math! Those are not all equal sides! One of them's different! He's totally an isosceles triangle!" Mabel argued.

"Mabel, you're the one who doesn't pay attention in math!" Dipper pointed out. "You just colour in all the squares in your note book!"

"But white and blue are so boring!" She insisted.

"Math is supposed to be boring!" Her twin yelled back, waving his arms.

"Isosceles!"

"Equilateral!"

_"Isosceles!"_

_**"Equilateral!"**_

"I can't take this anymore! If either one of you says isosceles or equilateral again-"

The rest of the demon's threat was drowned out by the twins debating. He glared at the two, wondering how much I took to get them to register his presence. He was a neon-yellow, glow-in-the-dark dream-demon! It shouldn't be too hard to register his presence in the room after all!

"Hey are you even-"

"Isc-"

"-listening to-"

"-ral!"

"-me?!"

"Oh yea, well why don't we go ask him?!" Mabel snarled.

"Fine!" Dipper said.

_"Fine!"_ She replied.

_**"Fine!"**_ They both said at the same time.

Both paused, realizing what they had said. An awkward silence followed the pause, as the twins tried to stick some logic to their planning. Naturally, Dipper was the first one to speak.

"Wait. Mabel how are we going to ask him? Wouldn't we need to summon him or something?"

"I'm right here!"

Still, he was ignored.

"I already thought that over!" Mabel smiled. "We just yell insults at him until he has had enough and decides to show himself. And then we ask!"

Dipper stared at his sister in mild exasperation. This was why he was the twin that made up all of the plans.

"Mabel that plan sounds extremely dangerous with a high chance of death."

For the last time, Bill decided to reiterate his point.

"I said, I'm right here!"

This time, they both heard him. Mabel jumped in fright, and Dipper picked up the nearest object, which happened to be a yard stick, and pointed it at him.

"What are _you _doing back here?" Dipper snapped. "This is like the fiftieth time! Don't you have something better to do?"

"Yeah!" Mabel chimed in. "Get a hobby you weird isosceles corn-chip-thing!"

The dreaded I-word was enough to distract Dipper, who turned and faced her. With the argument back in mind, prepared to yell that Bill just _had _to be equilateral because it made perfect sense. But the demon decided to stop that fire before the blow torch could fall in to the pile of highly flammable materials. He didn't want to have the twins killing each other. Yet.

"I've been here for the past ten minutes listening to you argue about this." The demon added.

Despite, their currently perilous situation, Mabel beamed at him.

"Hey, you should know whether or not you're isosceles! "

He regarded the girl, confused at what she was asking.

"How am I supposed to know what classification of triangle I am?" Bill wondered. "How is this even relevant to anything?"

"It's relevant to everything!" Mabel said in a hushed voice, her eyes becoming glassy. "Haven't you ever wondered if you could mail yourself somewhere? You'd need to know how big of an envelope to get!"

Bill looked over at Dipper to get some indication on her logic. The kid shrugged. Clearly he was as confused as Bill was feeling.

"No, I have never wondered about mailing myself anywhere." He finally said. "Why would I even want to do that?"

"How could you not want to mail yourself somewhere?! What's the point in being pretty much flat if you're never going to take advantage of it?"

"What?! I'm not flat, I'm..." He paused floating, realizing that he was indeed 2-D.

"My point exactly!" She said, taking the yard stick out of Dipper's grasp. This did not go unnoticed by Bill.

"Kid, what are you planning? " He asked hesitantly, slowly backing away from the twins.

"Mabel. Don't even think about it." Dipper warned, guessing what she was going to do.

"CATCH THAT TRIANGLE!"

If it was possible, Bill would have become very pale. Instead, he floated out of the gift shop at top speed, screaming at the top of his non-existent lungs. Mabel chased after him in hot pursuit, brandishing the yard stick as she gave a war cry of her own.

Dipper followed behind the two out in the yard, but stopped and rolled his eyes. They were now just running (or floating in Bill's case) around the Mystery Shack. Mabel was screaming something about finding the area of a triangle, and Pythagorean theorem, while swatting at the poor demon with the yard stick. Why he didn't just float beyond her reach was beyond Dipper. He panicked a little, worried that he might end up hurting his sister.

But just then, Bill decided running in circles was getting him nowhere, and the demon set off down the dirt road. Dipper decided that Bill was not overly dangerous at the moment, and his sister could handle whatever he chose to throw at her. From the looks of things, he was too scared to do that. He inwardly smirked, realizing that he now knew one of the demon's true fears: His sister.

Mabel continued to yell at the top of her lungs as she chased him. This of course did not go unnoticed by the townspeople.

"Stop that isosceles monster!"

Both Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland looked up from the ticket Blubs was writing to see the great-niece of Stanford Pines running after what looked like a floating pizza slice dressed for a funeral.

"Did you see that?" Durland asked.

"I sure think I did." Blubs replied with a mouthful of doughnut.

"Should we help her?"

"No, she said isosceles monster. That one is _clearly_ equilateral."

"I dunno, it looks isosceles ta' me." Durland said, squinting.

Both cops looked at each other and shook their heads. Too much coffee.

* * *

"Stop disappearing! I need to find out!" Mabel yelled at him.

"No way! You're crazier than I am!"

He found himself back on the property of the Mystery Shack. Perching on a sign, the demon looked down at the girl. Despite the large height difference between them, she was jumping at him with the yard stick as if she could reach him. It was still hopeless for her of course! Ha! And that dumb kid thought that she could somehow steal the greatest secret of the universe from him just like that! Giving a triumphant laugh, he said;

"Ha! Good luck getting up-"

The rest of what he was going to say was never heard because a voice behind him said;

"Candy, attack!"

Bill felt someone shove him from behind. Suddenly, he found himself falling through the air. Because he had been caught by surprise, Bill couldn't stop himself from letting _gravity_ causing him to _fall_. He rolled a few feet before landing flat on the ground. The girl who had pushed him from behind picked up her now broken glasses and said;

"I'm ok."

Had she actually jumped off the roof just to even the odds? Where had he come from?! Why were this kid's friends here?! How did they even know about this?! IN his confusion, the demon couldn't figure out any of the answers to what he was wondering about. One of the downfalls of being 2D was that if you fell, standing up was a year-long project. And considering that Mabel Pines had brought back up, he needed to stand up. Now. Bill tried to push himself off the ground, but his paper-thin arms were not adept at this.

"Grenda hold him down!" Mabel commanded.

A heavy weight was suddenly placed on where his shoulders would be. From his spot on the ground, he saw the crazed girl walk up him with the yard stick.

"Finally the greatest secret of the world shall be mine!"

Bill couldn't help it, he just had to say;

"Wait. Whether or not I'm an isosceles triangle is the greatest secret of the world?"

Mabel shrugged;

"Well, I guess it's up there with what marshmallows are made of and where babies come from. But it's still up there!"

"You don't know where babies come from?"

A dark look came over her face, and she shivered.

"Oh I know, I know..."

The young girl brightened again, and said;

"Then let's find out the greatest mystery the world has to offer!"

"No! Don't-"

"Candy! -feet, six inches!"

No one could hear the measurement of feet over the demon's screaming.

Candy recorded something down on a notebook.

"That's - feet, six inches!" She mimicked

"-No! Stop it! That-"

"The same on the other side!"

"-tickles!"

"Only one side left! Finally, after thirty whole minutes of me wondering about this, I shall find out!"

"Stop!"

He attempted to kick away the meter stick, but she held it to the ground. Matching up the numbers. She dropped the yard stick. And whispered;

"Candy, get the measuring tape."

The girl ran off to find the measuring tape. She soon returned, and handed it to the girl. Mabel stretched it out, carefully taking the last measurement of his side. Awe donned on her as she read it. Mabel seemed to double check the lengths, comparing the "notes" that Candy had taken. She took a dramatic intake of breath, as if she were willing herself to speak.

"One millimeter." Mabel whispered. "There's a difference of one millimeter. "

Grenda's hold on him faltered, and Candy dropped the note book.

"He's isosceles. But only in Canada." Suddenly, a diabolical grin spread across her face. "Hey Bill, do you know how much it costs to mail a letter to Canada?"


End file.
